EXCERPT OF A CLIENT LETTER
9 April 2020
We’re at the end of week 4 as I see it. Are you finding your new rhythm? A more sustainable balance of compassion for yourself, for others and keeping your focus on the future?
Everyone is feeling vulnerable, which translates into not behaving normally AND looking for props to steady them. Do not think you need to be your usual self. How could you possibly be at this time? It’s ok. You will get through this!
I have been vulnerably sharing so much more of my life in my last two newsletters, but things have changed and I want you to have a bit of me if it can help you somehow. So I’d be lying by omission if I didn’t admit that I had another wobble last Friday with two text exchanges. It must have been building up over the preceding three weeks of underlying weird new global Corona mass stress and Friday’s texts were the last straw. Both text exchanges took energy for me to process internally and resolve at a time I felt my head was already full. It wasn’t so much the hurt and anger surrounding the exchanges, it was more that I felt I was letting myself down and I “should” have been able to cope.
It was a flag for me to have more self-compassion and manage my “Corona energy” differently.
As I’ve said before, we must be the gatekeeper of our own mind. We must focus only on that over which we have control.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Do you want that light to spur you on?
Or does it serve you to let the darkness of fear overtake and disempower you?
1. What new things – that you have complete control over – are creeping into your world that you want more of in 4 weeks?
2. What new things – that you have complete control over – are creeping into your world that you DON’T want more of in 4 weeks?
Be safe, be optimistically creative, be kind to yourself and others.
WITNESSING UNUSUAL BEHAVIOUR
I’ve had to change my expectations of others. Arrangements seem to be more fluid. People are either calling out of the blue, cancelling last minute or getting in touch earlier or later than before. I am not experiencing people in their usual way of being. And not in a good way. I have to remind myself to feel more compassion for them so I don’t feel hurt or angry myself. It’s working! There are more challenges ahead so there are many opportunities of showing up with love.
LESS ENERGY THAN USUAL
I’ve had to relax my expectations of myself too. Each day I’m at full capacity as there is a new, Corona coloured layer of underlying distraction (even without feeding my head with news). Getting through every day is taking more energy than usual. The end of a day feels more like the end of a week, and I have been newly rewarding myself accordingly! There is no precedent so we cannot berate ourselves. We can take responsibility for ourselves and seek to adapt our comfortable habits for the most positive outcome.
I have had to re-assess my own energy and rein in what I can give to others. I have needed more treats and rewards than usual. This is certainly the time to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. We need to put in place our new norms. Have a think about what new norms you would be happy with.
Future Self Diagram
I mentioned our future self in the last newsletter and who we’d be proud to look back on…. This diagram is in your Wellbeing Folder (see Other Resources link below). The previous version I knew had the words “comfort zone” in the place of the COVID-19 sphere. The source who updated this well-known diagram is as yet unknown.
We have faced our own mortality for the first time in (hopefully) a while. That’s quite a shock to the system. We have faced the precariousness of life and so we are reflecting on what is left of our time here and our purpose. That permanent, unquestioned, loud, steady rhythm has subsided – not out of choice – and many people have been surprised at what this new stillness reveals. Stillness is the barometer of our spirit. We cannot tune into such delicate and tiny calibrations of our spirit’s desires if we don’t give ourselves time for reflection. Otherwise we are a slave to the outer world. And this is a big time of reflection!
At the very least, if you have found yourself with less commuting, less socialising and more time, this is an opportune moment to upskill yourself to make yourself even more valuable in the post-Corona marketplace.
If you have already done this, you can compare your previous and current scores. It literally takes 2 minutes and is eye opening. If you see that your score is significantly higher than normal, congratulations! You are a human! See this as an early warning sign. If you don’t find an outlet for your stress, it will bite you in the bum later. What three things could you tweak so that you feel more in control of your thoughts, your time and your energy?
6 WAYS TO BOOST YOUR MENTAL WELLBEING
There are other sources available, but let’s limit our bookmarks otherwise we’ll feel stressed by too much choice!
WORKING FROM HOME
If you’re new to working from home, try these easy but critical ones.
ORGAN DETOXING (if you don’t do “exercise”)
You’re most likely aware of the Youtube fitness channels and apps we can follow if we want to. For those who have not yet reached the end of the slob period, try this. It’s obviously not as good as a physical activity or getting a sports massage, but when I’m busy it works for me. You can use a teaspoon on your face and a dessert spoon on your body.
Do get in touch if you’d like more details about anything in this document. Stay well.